Less than a week after the baby was born, grandma came for a visit. Her intention was to help out the new mommy and see all the grandkids in one visit. However, it was really a visit for the grandkids. From the time she landed- literally that day, until the time she left, she and the grandkids were out on the town with daddy as their personal chauffeur. No helping around the house, no cooking food for the upcoming weeks, no anything but helping mommy relax by "getting the kids outta the way"- grandma.
All weekend, starting from about 10am they would leave mommy and go get breakfast. While they were out, the kids got to choose where their next adventure would be. They went to Chuck-E Cheeses, the movies, out to lunch, skating, the park and lastly out to eat. They would make it back around 9:30pm with food from the restaurant they ate from. Mommy was suppose to be at the house relaxing with new baby sister and not having to "deal with the older two kids." That sounds great but in reality, Mommy, who couldn't really stand up straight for long, was alone with a freezer full of frozen food (no microwave in the home) and no help with little things like- help out the tub. Mommy maybe got a phone call in the late-afternoon to see how she was, but it was more out of standards. She told daddy she needed help at home but he'd say grandmom kinda "wants the kids to just play a little longer" and then "we're gonna shoot home with some food for you." Food. Food that was appreciated but was cold. Cold like they ordered her food when they ordered theirs.
This went on the entire weekend. And so did feelings of anger and guilt. Mommy felt angry for be being left out and left alone. But then after days and hours alone, mommy felt guilty because someone had taken the kids for the whole day and brought her dinner at night. Somehow though, anger lasted longer. Mainly because Grandma always does exactly what she wants to do. In a non-confrontational but non-compromising way. For instance whatever her biological grandson (mommy stepson) says he wants to do- gets done. To the exclusion of everyone. Although both kids were gone, only one got a say in where to go- Angry. But shouldn't mommy be grateful that her son was allowed to go along- guilty. Also, why did dad have to go. Mommy suggested he stay with her on Saturday to help her with the house and baby, but he insisted that Grandma would need him to drive them around. Grandma, who has visited this small city off and on for more the 15yrs and lives in a much bigger city in which she gets around just fine- Angry. But wasn't it better for him to drive since he really knows where everything is- guilty.
Mommy was so ready to get off that emotional roller coaster. She didn't though. She rode the angry roller coaster well past the weekend. With no family of her own in the town, she didn't have anyone to come and help her get off. Well, she did have one friend that came over. She came on that Monday morning, cleaned off the table- that had a pile of rotting tomatoes on it, brought her some good, hot, home-cooked food, and and an objective ear. That was the best part of the weekend.
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