My son graudates & so does his- Brenda's Tale

I have an older son from a previous marriage and my Lover has a younger son from a previous relationship as well. Fortunately, both our children are graduating. Unfortunately, it's on the same day. We thought it would be a no brainier that I would go to my sons graduation and he'd makes his- but other people didn't feel the same. 


Two close family friends were over to visit last week. One made a comment about what will be hard for her when she finally gets the courage to leave her presently unfulfilled relationship. She said "the complexities of having to balance support for both children must be tiring". She's discouraged from wanting to be in a blended family and prefers the "traditional way". I acknowledged that although that may be true in some cases, balancing support to more than one child is present in all families with multiple children. Furthermore, some of that "tradition" she's chasing was because the mother refused to have the stigma of being divorced or flat out couldn't get one. "Maybe this isn't the best example" she said, "but what happens when I wanna just take my child out to the park but can't because their half-sister would feel left out. Sooner than later, example after example of these very similar situations can get frustrating". 


That was true. I have done that. I've wanted to do something special for my son only. I felt guilty but I also felt mad. Why should I not be able to do that? But how would I feel if my Lover did that to my son? Would I understand or would I make up an excuse as to why this time doesn't count- and say that my son is being left out. I truthfully told them that I too have struggled with that, and that there is no magic bullet to fix it. However, nothing is black and white. For instance, it would be unfair for me to take all the kids out and only get "my" son something from the dessert menu. However, if I wanna take him on a hike with me and leave the other kids that's cool too. Especially since all families need one on one time with each of their kids. Blended or not. That's what I'm starting to notice. Although blended families have unique issues, a lot of them are not blended family issues- their just family issues. The tricky part is knowing the difference between the two.